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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Suffering 101 #2

We've all seen people react to suffering by getting angry.  Ok, most of us have been that person.  Know why?  I mean, why people get angry when things don't go their way? 

30 years ago Francis Schaeffer claimed that the premier gods of westerners were personal peace and prosperity.  Everybody knows what prosperity is, but the personal peace he spoke of was a desire to be left alone, unconcerned with anyone or anything else in the world.  It's no different today.


The personal peace he meant was a kind of autonomy/privacy that's oh-so-American.  But scratch it more deeply and buried beneath this everyman idolatry could be the hope--maybe even the expectation that nothing should go wrong for me; my perfect world should not be disturbed.  Which could explain why people get so mad when it is.  Why they go ballistic when their prosperity or peace leave town.  


Sometimes it's due to a big blow.  Like the widow who began screaming and cursing shortly after I said the "Amen" at her husband's funeral.  (She was mad at God and her dead husband.)  Sometimes its a small blow.  I remember as a teenager just going postal when I couldn't get the motorcycle started I'd borrowed from a friend.  Not exactly a tragedy of cosmic proportions but you'd think it was by the library of epithets I hurled at the heavens.

My last post on suffering discussed the person who simply resigns himself/herself to the inevitable disappointments.  Maybe like Eeyore, someone who bleakly expects that's how life's going to be and doesn't do anything about it when it is.  In this post, it's the anger response; the fury, rage, the indignation.  This one, I have much history with.  Maybe you do too.


Angry at whom?  Anger is usually directed at someone: a person at fault, the one to blame.  If his girlfriend dumped him, she's in his crosshairs.  If his boss demoted him, he  is.  If no one's to blame--say, she gets cancer, it's a little trickier.  Who's to blame for a dreaded disease?  With a little investigation maybe you can pin it on a
nearby manufacturer who might have contaminated your well.  Or, the secondhand smoke you inhaled from a spouse.  But what if your search yields no one to blame?  

People still get mad.  At God.  Even those with barely a vague notion of God--or Christians who don't believe God is sovereign to the degree the Bible says, believe instinctively that He's running the show.  If things go badly for them, He's ultimately their Fall Guy.  

The best an atheist/agnostic can do is blame fate--or some other nebulous substitute. But the Christian--or even the God-believer, knows God could have kept her from cancer, could have stopped the divorce, could have snatched her son from the road, could have intervened with her boss, could given her more money, or....

In other words, unless a person can exile his/her suffering to a sector that somehow God isn't in charge of, he/she will eventually blame God.  Here is where humanity's twin beliefs converge even if not admitted out loud: God is in control, and I deserve better than what I'm getting.  Although a veneer of humility or self-denial can camouflage it, anchored to the bedrock of my self-perception is the deeply held belief that that I didn't deserve to lose my job; I don't deserve a flat tire; I don't deserve that kind of treatment by my son.  I don't deserve cancer.  I don't deserve this traffic jam.  I do deserve a child.  I do deserve to be thought well of.  I deserve to earn enough money to live like ______. 


Job suffered like few people have: his wealth was either stolen or destroyed, his 1o children were killed, his wife turned against him, his reputation was in tatters, and his health was ruined.  From Job 3 to Job 31 he repeatedly protested that he did not deserve to be treated like this.  Humanity's twin convictions were firmly anchored: God's in control and did this, but I don't deserve it.  

To which God replied: Will you even put me in the wrong?  Will you condemn me that you may be right (Job 40:8)?  To lash out at God over suffering says God's made a mistake: He's wrong, I'm right.  Yet basic Bible theology teaches us that we are by nature wicked (Rom.3:10, 23), and thus objects of God's wrath (Eph.2:3).  Therefore, all the suffering we experience, is deserved.  Not that a child dies because we told a lie at work.  Rather, that since we are sinners both by nature and by practice, we are not deserving of special treatment that puts us out of reach of suffering.  Indeed, what is not due us are God's blessings: life, health, children, work, friends, peace, security, family, education, respect, abundance, love, and most of all, deliverance from our sins and God's judgment, and the blessing of His favor to us in Christ.  

Anger at suffering can only be moderated by a growing recognition that no, I don't deserve anything but judgment, death and hell.  EVERYTHING else is a bonus.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Glorify God at Work

Tomorrow I'll be preaching on God's plan for man's labor; how we can glorify God on/through our jobs and live out the gospel.  Below are some suggestions from Bob Thune, lead pastor of Coram Deo Church in Omaha, NE.
  • God is glorified when we put our whole selves into our work, with a view toward pleasing God, not men (Col. 3:23-24).
  • God is glorified when we are honest, even when it hurts us or prevents us from getting ahead (Ps. 15, Gen. 39).
  • God is glorified when we honor our superiors and submit to their authority (1 Tim.6:1, Rom.13:7).
  • God is glorified when we treat our work associates with kindness and respect (Lk.6:31, Rom.12:18).
  • God is glorified when we expose fraud or dishonesty or unethical behavior (Eph.5:11-13).
  • God is glorified when we approach our work prayerfully (1 Thess.5:17).
  • God is glorified when we avoid complaining or grumbling, even in less-than-ideal work situations (Phil.2:14-15).
  • God is glorified when we refuse to make work and money our idols (Matt.6:24, Eccl.5:10-12).
  • God is glorified when we plan diligently for the future (Prov.21:5).
  • God is glorified when we live simply and give generously (Prov.22:9; 1 Tim.6:17-19).
  • God is glorified when we trust him to provide today what we need for today (Matt.6:11).
  • God is glorified when we rest from work (Deut.5:13-15; Ps.46:10).

Friday, August 31, 2012

What God can do for those with same-sex attraction

This Sunday I'll be speaking on homosexuality and related topics.  While the number of Americans who admit to being homosexual or bisexual seems to grow all the time, certainly there are still those who hide their desires for fear of the disdain, criticism and rejection they expect should they be honest.

In our churches, there is a comparable fear.  That is, some Christians with homosexual longings are fighting the good fight.  But the storm is fierce and while they desperately wish there could be some believers to stand with them with love, prayers, advice, and friendship, they suspect--probably rightfully so, we'd cut them off and despise them if we knew the truth.  The painful truth is that unless a church revises the Bible's teaching on homosexual behavior, it's not the best place to be honest about same-sex attractions.  It seems to be the one temptation that some Christians want to pretend doesn't exist.  And the one kind of sinner/prospective sinner they don't want to join hands with and help.  God forgive us.

From a distance I've learned how deeply imbedded the homosexual craving must be.  Where is there hope to be had?  Jesus Christ.  No, repentance and faith do not necessarily mean the temptations will flee.  After all, we are in a battle against sin that will last our lifetimes.  But being killed, buried and then raised to life again in Christ, does mean the power is there for victory.  As Christopher Yuan will tell you.

Monday, August 20, 2012

You in your marriage

That's just great: according to the latest study the US has the highest divorce rate in the world.  The world.  Think of all the countries we had to beat out for that distinction.  Recently a married friend in his 40's told me it seems like a lot of couples his age are splitting up.  My generation (boomers) is even worse.  In 1990 fewer than one in ten Americans who got divorced were over the age of 50.  By 2009 it was one in four--"Grey Divorce" AARP calls it.  Many of these 25% going their separate ways throw away a couple of decades or more.

It's no surprise when unbelievers take a utilitarian view of marriage.  "It's a social/pleasure contract and as long as it does more for me than it hurts me, I'm in.  If it becomes too unpleasant with too many unkind words, too little consideration, too much of your mama, too little sex or too little money, I'm out."  The prevailing notion that each person has a single soul mate (your perfect match) out there tends to loosen people's grip on their marriages.  "Surely if I came home to my soul mate every day, she'd/he'd appreciate me better than my spouse does."  Whether pleased or displeased with our marriage, we humanly and sinfully take credit for what's going well, and blame the other for what's not.

[Because I'm happily married some have hinted I'm unqualified to speak to unhappy marriages.  Huh?  Maybe that's where the cliche "Misery loves company" originated.  I've learned that some people think my wife and I just happened to land a good mate.   But Betty and I are not happy because we're the perfect mates for each other.  Not every day in the last 40 years has been a roses-and-valentines-day.  We picked up some bumps and bruises along the way and have not always been satisfied with our marriage--or each other.]

52 year-old Debbie divorced her husband after 20 years.  "Emotionally, physically we just couldn’t relate to each other anymore..."  50-something Thaddea also ended her marriage  last year.  "I decided to take the risk on myself and take a chance on myself to see what could I do on my own."

"Myself."  "Me" matters most.  Hardly a novel observation about the human condition.  Or about marriages.  At least occasional dissatisfaction is part of the landscape of every marriage.  People who stay married accept that some dissatisfaction is normal.  Beyond that, Christians realize that God's main job is not to ping their happy meters.  He calls believers out from the world to be beacons of light for His glory--which for some means prison or a hangman's noose.  For many, many husbands and wives, it means staying in an imperfect marriage because they promised "for better or for worse". 

Then again, you don't have to just endure.  See what you can do with the person you can change: you.  Unhappy spouses often sound like defendants in front of the judge: "Somebody else did it." 
"It's her fault."  
"It's his."

Not so fast.  Every marriage boasts two sinners.  Maybe one's the primary cause, but both sin so both contribute to problems.  You can't fix the other sinner but you can work on one all by yourself.  Even just one person's efforts can enrich almost any marriage. 

Author Gary Thomas asks this provocative question in Sacred Marriage, What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?  Making a Christian more and more holy is the Holy Spirit-run operation called "sanctification" (Rom.6:19).  With his unnerving question, Thomas suggests that the normal wear and tear of married life may be one of God's main tools to round off our rough edges, and expose our pride and selfishness.  In other words, maybe your marriage tensions aren't accidental.  Maybe God's in the thick of it for His glory and your good.

Kathleen and Thomas Hart write, Sometimes what is hard to take in the first years of marriage is not what we find out about our partner, but what we find out about ourselves.  Amen.  Or in the third decade.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Chick-fil-a

The Chick-fil-a controversy has stirred up ominously dark clouds for Americans.  What other nation is as casual as the USA when its citizens say whatever moronic, repulsive, vulgar, or threatening thought crosses their minds?  Yet let a business owner donate dollars to organizations which endorse (which is not the same as enforce) a historical concept of marriage--and  mention it publicly, and suddenly the same thought police that brought us no-holds-barred speech, want it to apply only to their convictions.  You'd have thought Dan Cathy was urging those who agree with him to arm themselves and injure opponents.  You'd have thought that.  But he just used his constitutionally guaranteed rights.  Dark clouds for Americans.

But not dark clouds for American Christians.  Maybe the reverse, actually.  Face it Christians, historically, we've never been popular.  Hounded, imprisoned and executed whether for refusing to worship the emperor, or for celebrating communion, or for urging people to repent and turn to Christ, or for insisting there was such a thing as sin.  Our ancestors' children were killed, their lands and houses confiscated.  That was then.

Today in America, some believers are multi-millionaires, some are in elite positions of civil power, some are professionals who enjoy wide respect.  We've got men and women in high places in schools, sports, government, and business/industry.  Some church leaders have the ear of those with secular power.  The children of Christians are protected from bullying like other children.  They get an education.  Christians can borrow money without being cheated by banks.

This is all good; but not necessarily wonderful. 

Honestly, most of us American believers are soft and timid.  Yes, we're nicer--which doesn't hurt all by itself.  But people don't necessarily recognize faith by niceness any more than they do by the meanness of some of our brethren.  After all, some atheists and agnostics are nice.  Faith is a platform for truth.   God says "...speak the truth in love...".  Speaking the truth without love is godless but so is speaking in a loving fashion without speaking the truth.

I suspect that as American society grows more and more impatient with Christians, our numbers will shrink as the anemic, the pretenders, the cowardly, the "can't we all just get along?" crowd vanishes.  I suspect that what's left will have more muscle, and become more effective.  And suffer.  For ...to this you have been called. (1 Peter 2:21).

Me First

Some years ago I wrote this poem about human pride and its lifelong attempt to assert its own glory.

“Me first, me first,” the little boy said.
You’re just in the way, got too much to say,
I’m not being seen, I’m not being heard;
“Me first, me first,” the little boy said.

“Me first, me first,” the teenager said.
He cut off the car that was slowing him down,
He chewed out the driver that was making him frown;
“Me first, me first,” the teenager said.

“Me first, me first,” demanded the young man.
So, it’s our third date, don’t want to wait,
If you tell me “no,” I’ll have to go;
“Me first, me first,” demanded the young man.

“Me first, me first,” her daddy protested.
You can just wait ‘til I’ve got some time,
Got things more important now on my mind.
“Me first, me first,” her daddy protested.

“Me first, me first,” shrieked the old man in line.
Then suddenly…, suddenly he was at the head of the line.
His mouth gaped at the Ancient of Days,
Who pointed to his Son filling the world and heaven’s stage.
“No, no, He is first; He always has been.
While you thought much of yourself…, so little of Him,
A tip of the hat, a token of faith
While you gained the glory and attention of men.
Your talents, your home, accomplishments too,
Your grades and your wit were all about you.
Who could see my Son veiled by your pride?
Now He’s no longer hidden, His glory denied. 
All men will worship, and to Him, bow their knees. 
He’s no longer decreasing, while His people, increase.

copyright, 2007 Keith Rohrer

He must increase, but I must decrease (John the Baptist)